Quotes & Jokes by Adam Carolla / page 2

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

He has a great sense of humor - but it's in his assembly. It's really his craftsmanship that people overlook. It's not being fair to him just calling him outrageous.

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

Spontaneous, clever, specific, oblique and at the same time very human.

Nature knew what she was doing when she figured out the penis and the cunt.

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.

It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the "Rich Man, Poor Man" thing.

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

My feeling is this whole country is founded on the principle of "if you are not hurting anyone, and you're not fucking with someone else's shit, and you are paying your taxes, you should be able to just do what you want to do." It's the freedom and the independence.

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

All TV is, is really: "Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that." There's nothing really in the middle.

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

Right now, I hope it's later rather than sooner.