Quotes & Jokes by Bob Saget / page 10
They say the measure of a man is judged by the company he keeps. <br /> [ looks around] I'm fucked.
Norm MacDonald. Norm, you're the funniest man I know. Because these are the other people that I know.
I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.
Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house." and, cut! "Cock shit fuck!"
My book editor asked me if I wanted an extension and I told him, it's okay, I'm happy with the length of my penis.
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.
A guy recently came up to me and said, "Bob, you are the shit." I said "Thank you for adding the word 'the.'"
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.
It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.
If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.
I don't like the negative of reality tv - the "you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me". It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.
I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.