Carrot Top Quotes and Jokes


Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, "Can you please screw this up really bad?"

I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me.

Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.

My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.

The blessing is that everyone knows who I am because of the commercials.

On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.

There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans.

I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.

I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.