Colin Quinn Quotes and Jokes

52 quotes

When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

Honesty buys you nothing at all in this school.

People say "history was written by the winners." No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.