Colin Quinn Quotes and Jokes

52 quotes

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

Honesty buys you nothing at all in this school.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

My name has zero value.

If it had just been some femme fatale, I think this whole thing could have been settled. You know, if it had just been like a beautiful woman.

We battled well and it was an excellent win.

Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.

People say "history was written by the winners." No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.