Colin Quinn Quotes and Jokes

52 quotes

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

I like guy stuff.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

My name has zero value.