Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
Don Rickles Quotes and Jokes
Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.
When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.
No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.
Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.
The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.
I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.