Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
Don Rickles Quotes and Jokes
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.
Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
I've never walked off stage and said, "I shouldn't have done that." Because when you do what I do, you're like a fighter. You throw the right hand and say, "That's what got me to this dance." You can't have doubt. If you have doubt, there's no show.
Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, 'Don, get up at a party and tell a joke', I'm the worst.