Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 8

129 quotes

If you want to play the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" home game, just send us a million dollars, and we'll send you a desk and four stools.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.

It sucks being fat, you know.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

I can't think of a worse place to be, without a passport, without any money, ... Then you'd be really screwed.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

This is how youre supposed to feel every day. This is what I should have felt like my whole life! I always thought I was going to die before I was 60. My father died of a heart attack in his 40s. Im not an idiot. The writing was on the wall.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.