Flip Wilson Quotes and Jokes


Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

The devil made me do it.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Most drag impersonations are a drag. But everyone can like Geraldine. The secret of my success with Geraldine is that she's not a put-down of women. She's smart, she's trustful, she's loyal, she's sassy. Most drag impersonations are a drag. But women can like Geraldine, men can like Geraldine, everyone can like Geraldine.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

That's a good time to sneak, four in the morning, 'cause anyone you run into, they're sneaking too.

With all the trouble black people have, they try to forget on weekends. You've got to be good to make them laugh.

What you see is what you get.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

Funny is an attitude.

Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.

If I had my entire life to live over, I doubt if I’d have the strength.

It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway.