The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson Quotes and Jokes
Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.
Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry - that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three-Mile Island.