Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 24
As we know, for centuries Rome regarded the Open Hot Turkey Sandwich as the height of licentiousness.
I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also thereis the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held.
I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don’t care about the films. I don’t care if they’re flushed down the toilet after I die.
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.