Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Stupidity
You know a lot of geniuses, y’know. You should meet some stupid people once in a while, y’know, you could learn something.
My mom looks at my dad and goes, 'Do I look fat in this dress?' And my dad goes, 'Don't be stupid, you look fat in everything.'
I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, and you wouldn't ask them for nothing.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
The true Axis of Evil in America is the genius of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
Then comes the kicker: Say the alphabet – backwards. "Well, shit, you got me. I'm not drunk, but I'm obviously too stupid to be driving, God damn it."
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I learned early on that passion, stupidity and 80 ounces of cheap beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.