Steve Martin

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

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Other quotes by Steve Martin

Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training.


By the way, the proceeds from tonight's telecast - and I think this is so great - will be divvied up between huge corporations.


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.


There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.


You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

You can’t make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.

When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.

How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?

I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.

A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.