Adam Sandler Quotes and Jokes

71 quotes

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue...

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

I noticed you all were French, opposite of bonjour to you.

And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!

Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Sorry I’m not better looking.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

Stop looking at me swan.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you.

Its too hot for a penguin out here come here mister penguin.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

I’ve got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I’m the only person who ever tried that.