Adam Sandler Quotes and Jokes

71 quotes

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue...

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!

Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.

I noticed you all were French, opposite of bonjour to you.

Its too hot for a penguin out here come here mister penguin.

Sorry I’m not better looking.

They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

I’ve got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I’m the only person who ever tried that.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.