Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 10

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, midlife for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter miler, who's son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore unless I bring something to read."

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

She (his wife) is the wind beneath my wings.

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, "I love children because they're so honest." There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.

It doesn't have to be that way.

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.'

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.”

We go out of our way to make people so different,... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts.