Flight of the Conchords Quotes and Jokes


2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven.

"You need to work on your people skills." "Shut up, Bret."

There ain't no party like my nana's tea party.

Will somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please? Can somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees?

Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

You’re so beautiful like a tree or a high class prostitute.

Let's get in a cab. I'll buy you a kebab. Now I can't believe I'm sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. With a kebab.

Just want to do something special, for all the ladies of the world, and the girls... Carribean... Parisian... Bolivian... Eastern Indochinian... Reptilian... Presbyterian.

I'm the Hippopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless!

A kiss is not a contract, but its very nice. Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition for the south.

My friend just told me he thought I was easily offended. I just can't believe he said that.

Making love… making love for… making love for two… making love for two minutes. When you’re with me, girl, you only need two minutes, because I’m so intense.

Other rappers diss me. Say my rhymes are sissy. What, what, what, why, why, why? Be more constructive with your feedback.

I'm not crying, its just been raining... on my face.

We really see the live shows as something totally separate from the TV show, even if the audience may not see it that way.