Quotes & Jokes by Johnny Carson / page 6
Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there.
I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
To this day I can't get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
I think it would be a fatal mistake to use my show as a platform for controversial issues. I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
I wanted the show to make the most of being the last area of television that the medium originally was supposed to be - live, immediate entertainment. I decided the best thing I could do was forget trying to do a lot of pre-planning. It all boiled down to just going out there and being my natural self and seeing what would happen.
Ed and I were out last night and I asked him why he drank so much. He said he drank to forget. I asked him, "To forget what?" And he said he couldn't remember.