Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Knowledge

13 quotes

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

Is knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know this?

What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.

When I was 8, I played little league. I was on first; I stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a direct line. I took advantage of that knowledge.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

I think all the knowledge and all the travels that I've done, I'm going to do a lot of great work in the future.

God inspired me, because I was blessed with the knowledge that I wanted to do this. And my mother supported it. She said, 'Whatever it is you want to do. If you believe acting or comedy is what you really want to do, I can only tell you it's not easy, it's very hard, but I'll support you.' Her supporting me enabled me to move forward.

I’m old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

When you have a knowledge of history, it's very soothing. When there's continuity in your life, it's soothing.

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

I can't rationalize the brilliance and knowledge that you have about the intricacies of the market with the crazy bullshit I see you do each night.

Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training.