Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Ronald Reagan

15 quotes

I went to the White House, met the president... We in trouble. (on Reagan)

I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

When Ronal Reagan got Alzheimer’s disease, how could they tell?

I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan Administration.

Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

There is a power struggle going on between President Reagan's advisers. Moe and Curly are out. Larry is still in.

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

Motherfucker looked at me like I owed him money. (on Reagan)

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent do that.

What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra Streisand. I think they just want him on a stamp so they can lick his ass. I think they only named an airport after him so they can say, "I'm coming into Reagan!"

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?