I can't sit down and write jokes. I just flows in from some maddeningly elusive place. Believe me, if I had an Alaska in my brain, I would drill baby drill, and I'd cum right on Sarah's back while I was there.
Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Alaska
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Taking a leak on a tree in the great wilderness of Alaska should not be a "who farted?" situation.
I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, "How do you like it up here?" The priest says, "If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini?" "Yes." "Rosary, get the bishop a martini!"
Of course he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.