Adam Carolla

Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

I would like one day to not only pop a hymen but actually pull the plastic off the vagina, unwrap the vagina.

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

My penis is like a burn victim after I orgasm. Don't get near it. It hurts. Leave it be.

All quotes and jokes