Amy Schumer

Quotes

There’s nothing more awkward than going to the first birthday party of a little girl when you told her mom to get rid of her. Because the kid can tell. “Here’s Tickle Me Elmo!” She’s like, “Fuck you!” I stand by my decision.

[On Her Best Friend's Pregnancy] I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.

All quotes and jokes
Profile was viewed 1507 times