Amy Schumer

Quotes

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

There’s nothing more awkward than going to the first birthday party of a little girl when you told her mom to get rid of her. Because the kid can tell. “Here’s Tickle Me Elmo!” She’s like, “Fuck you!” I stand by my decision.

[On Her Best Friend's Pregnancy] I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I feel like you know what you're going to be good at when you're older based on what you like when you're younger. When I was younger my best friend was Tony, this kid Tony, and he loved rocks. He was always playing with rocks, counting them, and now he's a crack head.

I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that.

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