Bill Burr

Quotes

Why would you listen to another human being tell you where you’re going to go when you die? “Dude, have you ever been dead?” “No.” “So, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that you wouldn’t have the slightest fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

I'll tell you why -- because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay -- that's why I get the dollar more an hour.

You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.

'Several NFL players said they would support a team mate that came out as gay...' Yeah, why wouldn't you?!

If this goes into sweatshop labor, I’m quitting this podcast.

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