Bill Hicks

Quotes

There is good news for smokers. The surgeon general’s warnings are different on the sides of each pack. Mine says, “Surgeon General Warning: Cigarette smoking may Cause fetal injury or premature birth.” Hey, fuck it! just don’t get the ones that say lung cancer.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

My final point about alchohol, about drugs, about Pornography...What business is it of your's what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemna on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my fucking life. And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be here to pick me up and take me with 'em.

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

All quotes and jokes