Bill Maher


Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.

I have a theory that the Internet makes people stupider - and also FOX News makes people stupider.

What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch.

We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.

I have never done heroin. I wouldn’t recommend heroin. But it hasn’t hurt my record collection.

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