Some people wonder if it isn’t unusual for an accountant to become a comedian. It’s unusual for a good account to become a comedian. I was a very poor accountant.
It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.
I think everyone probably starts out sounding like someone else, but gradually you develop your own sound.
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.
I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.All quotes and jokes