Carlos Mencia

Quotes

When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.

Don't tell God!

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

If your gonna drop out of school - tough grades are not your goal - then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn’t get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.

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