Christian Finnegan


Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.

Did you ever notice how short the interval is between "I can't wait for summer" and "Fuck this shit"?

If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al Roker.

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