Christian Finnegan

Quotes
Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.
If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al Roker.
Basically, I got into stand-up because I’m too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.
Did you ever notice how short the interval is between "I can't wait for summer" and "Fuck this shit"?
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