I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.
Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
Jeez, you'd think the people in this bank had never seen someone playing castanets before.
Basically, I got into stand-up because I’m too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.
The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.All quotes and jokes