Craig Ferguson


I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.

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