Craig Ferguson

Quotes

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that.

Researchers in Britain claim they have created a gel that prevents tooth decay. We’ve got this in America. It’s called “toothpaste.”

All quotes and jokes