Craig Ferguson

Quotes

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that.

All quotes and jokes