Craig Ferguson

Quotes

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.

I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.

All quotes and jokes