Craig Ferguson

Quotes

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that.

We are $14.3 trillion in debt, but the good news is we’ve got 14.3 trillion airline miles.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

All quotes and jokes