Craig Ferguson


I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that.

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

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