Craig Ferguson

Quotes

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.

All quotes and jokes