Dara O Briain

Quotes

On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns.

This is the first time that Irish people go: ‘You’re going to England? Sure it’s full of terrorists. Come to Ireland. We’ve no terrorists. They’re all playwrights now.’

On his appendix: Why would God put it in you when it does nothing but randomly kill you for no reason?

The game of comedy is all about owning the stage, and from a physical point of view, it's beneficial that I am a larger man. From my lumbering presence alone, I can't really help *but* dominate the stage.

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

All quotes and jokes