Frankie Boyle

Quotes

The Americans want to build a big tower on the site of September the 11th. Freedom Tower they're going to call it but now apparently they're worried and they're looking at ways to try and make it terrorist proof. I think they should have just build a giant fucking mosque. No one is going to fly into that are they?! Or even better, a runway. How galling would it be to high-jack a plane, and then come in and make a fucking text book landing.

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

All quotes and jokes