Frankie Boyle

Quotes

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

All quotes and jokes