Garrison Keillor

Quotes

Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

All quotes and jokes