Garrison Keillor

Quotes

Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

Life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

All quotes and jokes