I swear some days I think I owe my toilet an apology.
People don't let politicians kiss your babies. Those lips have been on lobbyist asses for years now.
I was walking around Taiwan and bought some flip flops for my feet. I said I wonder where were these made. Looked under the bottom. It said, "just around the corner."
Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
My girlfriend likes to play doctor, so I make her say "Ahhhh" then charge her $700.All quotes and jokes