Greg Giraldo

Quotes

[When discussing a Florida woman denied a drivers license for refusing to remove her Burka and head covering] You know, I think they should give her the license, but then, it should only be good for flying carpets.

My house is on fire... marshmallows!

You’re a walking tumor. Actually, it’s a big deal when you spot a tumor.

On Jeff Ross: “You’re fattening faster than you’re aging. You’re like the Curious Case of Benjamin Glutton”

Yeah, I'll take lettuce... tomato... and- I'm sorry, did you just put your balls in my sandwich?

All quotes and jokes