J. B. Smoove

Quotes

I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.

Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.

If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn’t have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn’t have passed away, I wouldn’t have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would’ve never auditioned for Curb.

All quotes and jokes