Jerry Seinfeld


I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.

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