I once called my mother during a hurricane. She got on the phone and said, "I can't talk to you, Joey, the lines are down."
A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, "Lady, didn't you see that red light?" The woman said, "You've seen one, you've seen them all."
My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.
You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future.
The kick of comedy is to think quickly. It's a great kick.All quotes and jokes