Jon Stewart

Quotes

What is the fear of the 'gay agenda' that has so upset people? Do people think that if gay people are given a place at the table, they'll be so convincing we'll all end up blowing them? What is the issue? 'You know, I'm straight, but you've made such a convincing argument...'

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

You wake up and you're still a little drunk and you can't believe that hot girl from last night actually has a beard and a penis.

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

Originally we were going to title it The Daily Show With Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays Off, but it was too long.

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