Jon Stewart

Quotes

What is the fear of the 'gay agenda' that has so upset people? Do people think that if gay people are given a place at the table, they'll be so convincing we'll all end up blowing them? What is the issue? 'You know, I'm straight, but you've made such a convincing argument...'

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

Originally we were going to title it The Daily Show With Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays Off, but it was too long.

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it’s nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

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