Lewis Black

Quotes

Just relax and breathe through your ass.

Republicans are a party with bad ideas and Democrats are a party with no ideas.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually... start to gag. And they put Soy Milk in with my Moo-Cow fuck milk, and it doesn't belong there, because we all know there's no such thing as Soy milk 'cause there's no soy titty, is there?

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'

All quotes and jokes