Lewis Black

Quotes

Just relax and breathe through your ass.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually... start to gag. And they put Soy Milk in with my Moo-Cow fuck milk, and it doesn't belong there, because we all know there's no such thing as Soy milk 'cause there's no soy titty, is there?

Republicans are a party with bad ideas and Democrats are a party with no ideas.

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot [on the road as a standup comic], between airport security and the weather...I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport.

All quotes and jokes