Nate Bargatze

Quotes

Guys are not good at marriage. It's not our fault; we weren't prepared for it like women are. Your whole life is built just preparation for marriage, every toy you played with. When you're a baby they give you a baby doll. So they give you a baby when you're a baby. You don't even know you're alive yet and they're like, 'Look, I would probably start figuring this out. This is where it's going.' Then they give you Barbie and Ken -- they live in a little house together and that is where you learn how to make drama.

You would play house, you would fake vacuum. Fake vacuum with your friends, that was awesome. It's great because when I see my wife vacuum now I'm like, 'She is living her childhood dream.'

I've been married four years now and it's getting pretty serious.

A lot of people don't like Wal-Mart, they say it's big business; like it kills the Mom-and-Pop shops. But really Wal-Mart, they were a Mom-and-Pop shop at some point and then they got their act together and became unbelievable.

When you do comedy to troops you stay on an army base, but in Bahrain you could actually leave the base and go to the downtown Bahrain. When you go out there they're like, 'Look, it's safe just don't draw attention to yourself. Don't wear American t-shirts and stuff.' And you're like, 'All right that's fine, no American t-shirts. So what are you going to do about the white on my skin?'

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