Paula Poundstone

Quotes

I would imagine the wages of sin are death. But by the time they take taxes out it’s just kind of a tired feeling.

I was born in Alabama but I had only lived there a month before I had done everything that there is to do. Even as an infant I was bored and crawled to the state line.

I have no money. I don’t even have a savings account cause I don’t know my mother’s maiden name and apparently that’s the key to whole thing.

I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.

I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.

All quotes and jokes
Profile was viewed 1217 times