Rich Vos

Quotes

I just celebrated seventeen years without a drug or a drink in my body. Seventeen years sober. I don’t need to get high. I got gambling to fall back on.

Do you think when Arabs give their kids toy cars, they say “you can only use this once.”?

I liked Amsterdam. I spent $2,000 window shopping.

This is how dumb the real estate agents are in New Jersey. They put their headshots and their advertisements on city benches. You know who sleeps on city benches? Homeless people. Why don’t you just put a picture of a four course meal next to it. “Here’s two things you’ll never own.”

I’m divorced… I tried to save my marriage. I went to counseling. Spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

All quotes and jokes