We can all help other people more than we do…. You’re sitting home. You’re on the couch. It’s one in the morning. And you hear, “For $9 a week you can help this starving child.” Everybody got the nine bucks. How do you not give it to them? You got to rationalize it somehow. You gotta go, “Yeaaah, that kid doesn’t look too hungry to me. Shit, he’s got a bigger belly than I do.”
Going to war over religion is basically killing each other to see who’s got the better imaginary friend.
In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.
I got involved with this pro-choice group. Their slogan is, “Raising kids is murder”.
Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.All quotes and jokes