Tim Minchin

Quotes

The Aus­tralian comedy circuit is kind of small, and big in the most inconvenient ways. There aren't many venues, and the ones we have are hundreds of miles apart and separated by mountains. That's probably why so many of us come to the UK

... you've probably worked out by now that all our songs are ridiculously long to make up for the total lack of content.

Yeah how bad can it be? Some people have it worse than me I could be a child prostitute Or Gary Glitter’s family

Because I need you / Like a tick needs a tock / Like bananas need pyjamas / Like a nun needs cock

I have these friends, and they had a daughter recently and they named her Jessica. They spelt it J-E-S-I-K-A. They’re that kind of people.

All quotes and jokes