Quote by Rodney Dangerfield:

I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There must be.'

Comedian
Short bio
Jack Roy, popularly known by the stage name Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, screenwriter, musician and author. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.

All quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Quotes by other comedians

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.

A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4 percent, so it’s possible that "less than no one" thinks they’re doing a good job.

Once you've had a man with no legs, you never go back baby.

He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now."