It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
Quote by Roseanne Barr:
Quotes by other comedians
My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.
I got a truck outside with my name on it: Sanford and Son. I’m Sanford and this is Son.
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
I'm "The Guy Who Seems to Be Ruining All Media."
When I die, if the word "thong" appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.