I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Quote by Sam Kinison:
Quotes by other comedians
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
I always thought music was more important than sex - then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.