Quote by Sam Kinison:

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

Short bio
Samuel Burl Kinison was an American stand-up comedian and actor. A former Pentecostal preacher, he performed stand-up routines that were most often characterized by an intense style, similar to charismatic preachers, and punctuated by his distinct scream.

All quotes by Sam Kinison

Quotes by other comedians

We had our family tree done... turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.

I never wanted to limit myself to just impressions. I wanted to branch out and develop other parts of my game.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what’s the guy even thinking there. "Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It’s nothing!"

Make-believe cowboys. Closest they've ever gotten to a cow is when they stopped to take a piss at an Arby's.