Quote by Sam Kinison:

My favorite president, John F. Kennedy. Charming guy, great president. Fucked Marilyn Monroe. President of the United States and fucked Marilyn Monroe. What do you want?! I know some people give him shit about that, yeah like you wouldn't have. No you'd have been too busy studying the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. Yeah you wouldn't have wanted a piece of Marilyn, not you, no. Yeah you're too patriotic, fuck you, you'd have done her. You'd have been just like JFK. You'd have been there in the Oval Office, Marilyn across the desk, your dick up her ass, lookin' out at the Washington Monument going: "You know, it doesn't get much better than this, does it? President of the United States. Dick in Marilyn Monroe. My finger on the fucking button telling the fucking Russians to get their missiles out of Cuba in twelve hours. It doesn't get better than this."

Comedian
Short bio
Samuel Burl Kinison was an American stand-up comedian and actor. A former Pentecostal preacher, he performed stand-up routines that were most often characterized by an intense style, similar to charismatic preachers, and punctuated by his distinct scream.

All quotes by Sam Kinison

Quotes by other comedians

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