Quote by Sam Kinison:

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee." She's thinking you're from fuckin' Europe or something: "Oh God, where'd you learn that, oh," and you're going "A, B, C, D, E, F, G".

Comedian
Short bio
Samuel Burl Kinison was an American stand-up comedian and actor. A former Pentecostal preacher, he performed stand-up routines that were most often characterized by an intense style, similar to charismatic preachers, and punctuated by his distinct scream.

All quotes by Sam Kinison

Quotes by other comedians

I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies.

Originality is really important.

And then the other CEOs would gather and they'd go, "Who's that?" "Who's that? That, my friends, is my very esteemed personal ball washer. What did you guys buy? Another car? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

With all the trouble black people have, they try to forget on weekends. You've got to be good to make them laugh.

It was fun because, after shooting, Will and I would eat a jar of pickles and tell each other secrets. It was so much fun!