Quote by Sam Kinison:

I'm not worried about Hell. I was married for two fucking years! Hell would be like Club Med!

Comedian
Short bio
Samuel Burl Kinison was an American stand-up comedian and actor. A former Pentecostal preacher, he performed stand-up routines that were most often characterized by an intense style, similar to charismatic preachers, and punctuated by his distinct scream.

All quotes by Sam Kinison

Quotes by other comedians

Damn! This flight attendant treating us like we won these first class tickets in a contest.

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Crap, I have a new obsession... I second-guess other people.

I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.