My father was a proctologist; my mother was an abstract artist. That's how I view the world.
Quote by Sandra Bernhard:
Quotes by other comedians
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
I’m circumcised ‘cause I don’t cum from the hood.
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.
They always have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like under-achievers.